The Revolutionary Act of Unschooling ; How to Teach & Support Your Children Individually ⋆ Earth and Water

Unschooling is how people learned throughout history. There were no easily accessible public schools and simply knowing how to read was often seen as a luxury only the rich could afford. The common people had too much work tending to the every day necessities of survival to really mess with any education above what was needed on a daily basis in order to get by.

Therefore the responsibility of learning anything was often in the hands of the child/person to figure out how to teach themselves. This meant that passion and interests drove most of learning. This method of exploring that which draws your attention throws out the idea of a one-size-fits-all curriculum and embraces the natural way children learn.

Today, this modality has become rare in contrast to the traditional classrooms but is slowly making a comeback as parents learn the common options aren’t the only path to a successful education. In recent years, unschooling has emerged as a compelling alternative, attracting families seeking a more natural, flexible and child-led approach to learning.

But what exactly is unschooling, and how can it benefit your child? Because it sounds like an unconstructive free for all where children are allowed to do whatever they like. And as any parent knows, you can’t just allow your child to run wild, making their own unsupervised decisions all day. You have to have some sort of method to the madness.

At its core, unschooling rejects a standardized curriculum and classroom setting. Instead, it focuses on a child’s inherent curiosity and interests. Learning becomes an organic process, fueled by exploration, play, and real-world experiences. Imagine a child fascinated by dinosaurs. In an unschooling environment, they might devour books and documentaries, visit museums, or even participate in paleontological digs – all driven by their own passion.

The unschooling method allows for a much deeper dive into subjects that traditional schools wouldn’t be able to give them. After all, even with the enormous amounts of time children spend in public school settings, there’s no way to go into complete depth on every subject and most kids aren’t going to want to anyway. And 1-2 field trips a year is more than enough for a couple of teachers trying to wrangle 50+ 8 year olds.

It makes no sense to force a child to read every dinosaur book, watch all of the docuseries, do all of the dinosaur projects, etc if they have zero interest in it and ultimately grow up with a deep desire to be a farmer, musician or accountant instead. But the child who’s passion sustains momentum may find themselves as a world renowned archeologist or paleontologist as an adult and the unschooling course gave them that upper hand that wouldn’t have been available in a traditional setting.

Children are naturally curious explorers. They learn best by doing, experiencing, and asking questions. Unschooling fosters this natural style by allowing them to delve deeper into their interests, whether it’s building robots, composing music, or mastering a new language. This intrinsic motivation fuels deeper learning and a lifelong love of knowledge.

While traditional schools provide a valuable foundation, they can sometimes struggle to cater to individual learning styles and paces. Standardized testing and rigid schedules can stifle a child’s natural curiosity and love of learning. Unschooling offers a flexible alternative, allowing parents to tailor the learning experience to their child’s unique needs and talents.

The pressure to perform well on standardized tests can create anxiety and detract from the joy of learning. Even creating a hatred of learning or self esteem problems moving forward. Large class sizes often make it difficult for teachers to cater to each student’s specific needs. Our unschooling alternative does demand more hands on attention from the child’s caregiver(s) which can be a barrier to the practice for many, but the rewards are well worth the work if you’re able to swing it.

The idea that unschooling leads to a lack of academic achievement is a common misconception. Many successful individuals, including actors Shia LaBeouf and Kirsten Dunst, film director Christopher Nolan, and entrepreneur Richard Branson, all credit unschooling for fostering their creativity and independence.

If you’re considering unschooling, it’s important to research thoroughly and understand the legal requirements in your area. Remember, unschooling is a journey you’re taking along with your child that lasts a lifetime, at least for them, as you may be able to release the reigns over to them entirely once they’re ready. The process requires flexibility, dedication, and a willingness to trust your child’s natural desire to learn. By embracing this approach, you can unlock your child’s full potential and empower them to become lifelong learners.

Beginning –

Public school isn’t a great fit for every kid. Some thrive in this setting, others are crushed by it. As more and more parents are turning towards home schooling, unschooling is a branch more and more are considering. It’s not uncommon for parents to have their children in different settings. One child may be homeschooled whereas the other does well in a traditional setting. If you have the means, the best thing for your children is allowing them to be where they specifically thrive, even if that means splitting them up.

We don’t believe in homework around here because after your children have spent 7+ hours at school, they come home to only have a few hours with you. These hours are precious and few. We don’t want to spend that time crying and fighting over homework when we could be spending it teaching them how to cook or garden all whilst strengthening the connection we have with them.

People’s number one problem with homeschooling or unschooling is concern over socialization. Even though a common phrase amongst traditional school teachers is “You’re here to learn, not socialize.” Homeschooling/unschooling isn’t a call for isolation and if you’re properly allowing your children to go out and experience life, the world and become involved in things, unschooling/homeschooling gives them MORE time to socialize, not less.

Traditional schooling is so structured, it really limits the time for free play. Things are changing and more group discussions are encouraged but things such as that are even structured and they’re told how to discuss. Something many people are generally surprised about is that homeschooled/unschooled kids are often better at interacting with a wider variety of people and can be dropped into a multitude of settings and thrive socially. Traditionally schooled kids tend to only know how to interact with other kids their age and don’t do so well with a variety of people.

A problem with grouping same age children together in the traditional setting is that it creates a lot of unneeded competition and standards. Every kid learns each and every thing at a different rate. Expecting all children to hit the same milestones at the same time is unreasonable and leaves some feeling like failures if they can’t match up. This can kick up all sorts of anxiety, stress and self esteem problems in children who learn just as well, but in a different way.

Whereas traditionally schooled children are grouped together by age (and we admit, how else would you divide them up?) homeschooled/unschooled kids are grouped more universally and do things together with all ages which teaches an invaluable lesson to all involved (parents included) in community and collaboration.

12:00 –

A new model for public schools could potentially be reformed on a smaller budget than what is currently available. Most of our school budgets go to administration that barely spends, if any, time actually with the children. The new model Kristen presents is more open, free form. With hands on learning options available but not mandatory. This would allow children to co-mingle based on interests and keep them engaged voluntarily because you’re playing off of what they’re naturally drawn to.

We spend a lot of time teaching teachers how to manage behavior and train students to sit still and quiet instead of learning how we can work with children’s natural energies. Most teachers come into this field with all of the best intentions, only to be crushed by the system themselves. There’s too much pressure on them from the administration to make sure all of their kids are hitting the allotted milestones when there’s no proven benefits of having children learn a particular thing earlier than those who don’t.

Forcing children to learn things before they’re ready can be detrimental to their desire to learn moving forward. We would rather keep the joy of learning alive in our children rather than have them reading early just for the sake of reading early. It doesn’t make sense in the long run. You don’t want your child to collect a trauma response where they relate books to stress.

Alternative in between options are beginning to pop up but they’re generally booked full with a waiting list a mile long because so many families are looking for more flexibility in schooling. Online schools are becoming more popular but can sometimes lock you into a curriculum that doesn’t work for you. Unschooling is a great option with all of the flexibility because each day you can present your child with a list of options to explore for that day. Allowing them to choose based on their interests often leads to less micro management of the school work because their own motivations take over.

Rarely does anyone who participates in the traditional school model walk away without any school wounds. Of course, no one escapes childhood without some sort of wounds. School wounds can range from bullying, social hierarchy, not meeting set standards, dislike of learning, distrust of authority and anything and everything in between.

24:24 –

It’s important to find a homeschooling community to connect with so you’re not feeling even more isolated than what society and culture already has us. We’re all craving that sense of village that our ancestors developed in. Public school gives us a bit of the community aspect but most of it is a false sense. Are there pockets of real connection within these settings? Sure. But for the vast majority you’re just showing up to this event or that and there’s no real bonding taking place.

Homeschooling/unschooling allows for more flexibility in the family unit, allowing for vacations without ramifications from the attendance office. Being able to travel with your children around the year allows them to experience more, learn more and avoid the crowded spring and fall breaks when the public schools are out and able to do that.

Schools want everyone to learn the same thing, at the same time, at the same rate. They don’t prioritize creativity or authenticity which leads to so many of us coming out of this system not having a clue who we really are. We wake up in our 20s, 30s, 40s or later and realize we’ve just been going through the motions that were laid out for us and then panic because we feel like we’re behind in life.

We each have our own strengths and weaknesses and we should be figuring out what those are as children so as to make adulthood a little easier on us. What’s the point of learning all of this in depth, complex math if you’re going to go into a field that has nothing to do with math and hire an accountant for all of your needs anyway?

“Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life” by Peter Gray

Schools are attempting to teach critical thinking but often do just the opposite. Students spend their lives in the system being told what to think, learn, do, etc. They’re also taught not to listen to their bodies by the scheduling of meals and bathroom breaks.

37:32 –

Unschooling is not just letting your kids loose and hoping for the best. You have to actively parent more when you’re responsible for their learning. Many kids, if left to their own devices would choose things like eating candy for every meal and playing video games around the clock. You have to make sure they’re getting the diversity they need to come out of childhood well rounded. This method allows for more guidance on the part of the parents which can lead to more well adjusted adults in the long run who are familiar with the regular responsibilities of life such as eating healthy and paying bills.

We don’t honor rest enough in our society. Nor do we honor each individuals natural rhythms of flow. Not everyone functions best at 7am in the morning. Some people work best in the evenings. Unschooling gives you the privilege of formulating your own schedule that works best for you and your family.

Unschooling has produced some world renowned experts such as Jane Goodall, Michael Faraday, Henry Ford, Mark Twain, Quentin Tarantino and Richard Branson. This method, since it’s interest driven and freeform, has the advantage over experts who came from a traditional schooling background as providing a broader resource catalog.

Schools who provide curriculum and degrees are often bias to the resources they provide and material taught. This can produce experts of very rigid thinking and problem solving, leading them to enter the workforce with the belief that there is only one right way to do things.

Sometimes it’s hard to prove that you’re an expert in a certain field if you don’t have the accompanying credits from a traditional school. There are a lot of ways people establish credibility in their fields. The best advice we have here is to keep track of all of the books and resources you partake in consuming. Keep up with your resume the best that you can and always be seeking ways to build your credibility.

Most people learn best by doing. Books can only teach you so much. You have to get hands on with the subjects you’re studying. Don’t be afraid to learn as you go. The internet gives us an unlimited amount of resources.

We’re taught that jumping around from one subject or topic of interest to the next is bad and that we should focus on one. This isn’t how natural interests work though. There’s something about a particular subject that we’re drawn to and once that need is fulfilled from that subject we move on to the next thing because our purpose is to compound these various things into our own unique interpretation of something.

About Our Guest

Kristen Himm is a former public school teacher turned unschool mom and advocate. She has two children and they have been unschooling since 2021. As part of her advocacy work, Kristen runs an unschool-inspired space in Albuquerque, NM where families can come together over the shared value of non-coercive learning. Additionally, she offers coaching support for families seeking help at any point in their unschooling journey.

Links to learn more about me and my work: