The Birth Partner: A Book Review for new parents ⋆ Earth and Water

Although this book is written in a matter-of-factly tone, it does make a point to acknowledge the importance of the emotional well being of those bringing this new life into the world.

It’s impressively all inclusive across the varying possibilities of couples and acknowledges more than just the traditional man-woman/mother-father pairs that are capable of creating a family. Something that stands out as different in many books on this subject.

It reiterated again and again that the primary focus of the medical professionals involved in the birth is the physical well being of the mother-baby and that emotional concerns are not at the forefront of their priorities, leaving emotional care up to the birth partner and doula.

The Various Topics of The Birth Partner

This book starts with how to prepare for birth from all angles. It provides a comprehensive checklist of things to pack and have on hand, how to choose your birthing team and how to prep the birthing person’s body for labor including 10 squats per day, kegels and various other exercises.

The book highlights the details of perineal massage and the various decisions that should be made beforehand and included in the birth plan. Preparing the home and people in the lives of the new parents and baby are also covered, including a lovely letter to grandparents who mean well but often require a little more direction to be helpful.

Part 2 of The Birth Partner walks you through the step by step details of labor and birth. It gives us lovely diagrams, explanations and possibilities for the various directions that both could be considered normal and abnormal in all stages of birth, from dilation of the cervix to the birth of the placenta.

Common problems that could occur are also covered in details that speak not only to the physicalities that are taking place but also possible emotions that could be felt by both the birthing person and birthing partner.

What to expect during these unlikely complications and how to help and support the situation physically and emotionally are well detailed in every listed circumstance, assuring that the birth partner and/or doula are as prepared and knowledgeable as possible going into the unknown of life bearing.

Various modalities of communicating information

The charts and diagrams of this book are invaluable. Providing visuals and easy to read directions and explanations ensures that the reader understands everything thoroughly enough to be of great assistance and a source of confidence in an otherwise very uncertain and unsettling time for the couple.

Understanding the anatomy and physiological processes helps ensure the best decisions are made for all involved and self advocacy is practiced in a system that is often more routine than necessary.

This book gives us many options for labor coping so that we, as the supporting person, can help the laboring person find rhythms and rituals to get through each contraction without suffering.

It also coaches us on how to coach the laborer so that we may bring them back into their rituals when they have been interrupted for routine procedures by hospital staff.

Even a “textbook” labor can be unpredictable but armored with the detailed knowledge in this book, we can survive and even thrive the trials of labor.

We are taught how to identify each stage of labor and how to act accordingly during each one. When to arrive at the hospital, using the 4-1-1 or 5-1-1 rule so as to avoid excess interventions and a stalled labor due to changing of location.

Various laboring positions are discussed in detail to aid in progressing labor and delivering in a way that is easier on the body and perineum.

This book gives us the ability to trust the bodies of those who labor so that we can stay even minded during these unsure times and avoid panic of the unfamiliar.

Laboring Tools

Various tools are described to aid in labor coping and relaxation techniques such as a TENS unit, birthing ball and peanut ball.

Birthing tubs are also thoroughly elaborated on as invaluable places to labor. Precautions are always stated along with the benefits of each thing in this book to give you a well rounded, impartial look at all angles and possibilities.

It’s great to always cover safety measures so that we can be as responsible as possible when using tools and making decisions. Massage and acupressure points and techniques are discussed in detail as tools always available to us to aid in coping measures.

Common issues such as breech position, post due baby, slow labor progression are covered and the options available during these disheartening situations. The details of these situations in and of themselves are detailed so that we may understand every angle of what is happening.

The possible emotional struggles that may be faced during these times are also covered which benefit us so that not only may we be prepared if we are faced with these situations, but we may cope with them easier and faster and be able to help the other affected persons cope with them as well.

Exploring the emotional side of these things can mean the difference between having a good experience to look back upon and having a traumatic experience due to sudden unexpected and unwanted turns.

Navigating the OB system

The common medical practices and procedures of birth are also detailed effectively in this book. It covers everything from the different types of pain management options, possible medications used, procedures that may be necessary and what to expect after the birth and the pros and cons to each one as well as their alternatives and if there may be risks to those.

All of the tests that are done before, during and after the birth to both the birthing parent and the baby. What outcomes each one may reveal or lead to and how to navigate this world of exploration with proper questions, knowledge and direction needed to make the right decisions for you and your baby in the one size fits all OB system.

The last part of The Birth Partner outlines what to expect as a new parent and how to adjust to your new life of caring for the new baby and the recovering birth parent. Resources and coping methods are suggested and offered to make the transition as smooth as possible.

Breastfeeding basics and ways to get enough sleep are noted. How to enlist help from others in your life are suggested in the form of meal trains and errands. It’s impossible to learn everything there is to learn about the processes of labor, birth and postpartum in a nine month period but this book covers a ton of information and ensures that you are as prepared as you possibly can be when the time comes.

Get a Doula

This book is a serious read. As someone who’s highly interested in this topic, it was hard for me to get through because it’s 400 pages of flat tone with no personality. It’s information is highly effective, useful and invaluable, though.

Taking on the task of birth partner is extremely important. If you aren’t 200% committed to the job, I’d highly recommend investing in a doula. Feel free to shoot me any questions you may have!