From Severe Social Anxiety to Leader ⋆ Earth and Water

I didn’t speak for most of my life. I mean, I spoke, but not much. There were people I grew up with, knew my whole life that had never heard me speak 2 words.

Frozen in fear, crippled by social anxiety, I spent nearly 23 years in near complete silence, watching others participate in life while I sat on the sidelines.

I worked as a server at the local bar and grill while I was in college. This helped tremendously in getting me to relax and communicate although I was still reserved, still never saying anything that wasn’t absolutely necessary.

I was there for almost 6 years and although I was a hard worker and good at my job, although I was overly non-combative, my heart was rebellious.

I wouldn’t comply to rules that I felt were unjust or ridiculous (INFJ). To put it lightly, I was unemployable.

Too headstrong and too much of a free thinker to blindly follow the power drunken managers that came and went who were more focused on controlling their employees than they were leading them into successful endeavors.

Start Where You Can With Your Social Anxiety

When my son was born, it gave me a chance to quit this glass box of a job and explore alternatives to a real career. I knew I would stay at home with him at least until he started school so that gave me about 5 years to figure out what I was going to do.

I knew I didn’t work for others very well so I started looking into multi-level marketing companies. One in particular that my close friend was doing very well in. She got me all set up and we began working.

Everything was going great until we expanded and I had to start doing calls on my own. Just the thought of having to do a call on my own caused the heat to rise in my entire body.

My breath became off balanced and I felt as though I may pass out, I didn’t know if I could do this.

I was notorious for stumbling over my words incomprehensively, forgetting super important things and just being all around awkward when I had to speak to strangers. I was faced with a choice.

Make the call
Or quit

I couldn’t go back to working for someone else. So I made the call. And it went alright. Then I made another, and another. And it got easier and easier.

The More You Tell The Universe You Can Handle, The More It Will Reward You With

Just as I settled into this new role I found myself in, we expanded more and found ourselves in face to face demonstrations at expos and events.

At first I was silent, allowing her to do all of the talking but if she was busy speaking with one person and several more were waiting I had no choice but to speak with them. This too, became easier.

We finally found ourselves in speaking positions. Once again, I allowed her to do all the talking but I found that we each had our strengths. She was a natural speaker, but I was better at answering questions.

My answering questions eventually led to my doing the speaking. A position I never thought I would find myself in. (I once passed out in high school because I had to get in front of the class and speak.)

A Perspective on Social Anxiety

I realized that most everyone had these same fears. No one wanted to be the one to speak out because everyone had the same insecurities that kept them in the crowd instead of on stage.

My becoming the one on stage didn’t happen because I conquered my fear. It happened because I realized that someone needed to stand up and speak out and if I didn’t do it in an effort to better the world, someone else with not so great intentions would.

So I stand, I speak and I lead. Not because I want to, but because I should.

I eventually branched off and started my own business, this business. I’m a leader and a teacher.

Where I once avoided eye contact with anyone, where I once was so frozen in fear so badly that I literally couldn’t make words come out of my mouth, I now create places and situations where I share my stories and knowledge.

The most unlikely of leaders now seeking to change the world.

Everyone is just a person doing their best with what they have available to them. Adding a brick at a time to a structure that will define them in the end.

You can choose to build a great structure. A little at a time. Everything can be overcome. You just have to want it badly enough.