My baby was born on Valentine’s day, my Papa’s birthday. The best gift we ever received. People talk about spoiling her. Have we? Can’t we wait to? That they will. The truth is, though, that this little girl has spoiled me from the moment of conception.
This was my third and easiest, most effortless pregnancy yet. When I became pregnant with her, I was highly active. Living at the yoga studio, practicing that and Tai Chi. I never felt the need to let up until half way through my second trimester. And even then it was only because exercise kicked up braxton hicks. She was telling me it was time to slow down and relax.
Half way through my third trimester, I ended up with PUPPPs. That was another level of hell I had never experienced, and it still hasn’t completely gone away, but honestly that was the only negative thing about my entire pregnancy.
We were all filled with joy and excitement from the moment we learned of her existence. A luxury we hadn’t gotten with our first two pregnancies.
My Fast & Simple Labor
Even labor and delivery were about as effortless as they could be. After 2 days of mild, on and off predominal labor, I woke up at 7am on the dot with contractions a steady five minutes apart. I happily woke my husband up, texted my doula and ate a bagel.
I jumped in the shower where contractions seemed to steadily grow. Now I was having to double over with each one.
After a couple of hours of this, some nausea and regret of the bagel (I never actually puked), we rushed to the hospital where she was born after 45 minutes of arrival with only about three pushes that took probably less than five minutes.
A total of five hours from start to finish. Or just under five hours, as she was born at 11:48. Here’s everything I did to prepare that contributed to this wonderful birthing experience.
My Birth Plan
I worked on my birth plan since my first trimester. My son’s birth hadn’t gone the way I had wanted it to and I had to get it right this time since it was my last chance. His birth was a standard epidural birth. Nothing went wrong but nothing was miraculous like I felt childbirth should be either.
I researched it, tweaked it, took it to every prenatal appointment, talked about it with staff and my doula. I was very serious about making it work
Birth Plan
We look forward to a wonderful birthing experience with the support of all the caregivers that will be on our team. To achieve the desired experience, we would like to request a hands off, intervention free, mother led physiological birth. We respectfully request the following of the staff if no emergencies arise:
Labor
- Informed consent in all things
- No induction
- No labor progressing medications
- Drug free pain management techniques (moving, birthing ball, massages, shower, etc)
- Quiet, dimly lit room
- Move about freely
- Intermittent monitoring
- Limited cervical checks
- Allow water to break naturally
- Stay hydrated and energized with clear liquids and lite snacks
- No IV or saline lock
Birth
- Mom chooses birthing position
- Delay cord clamping until it is white, limp and no longer pulsing
- No episiotomy
- No perineum massage, warm compress may be substituted
- No vacuum or forceps
- Intuitive led pushing
Postpartum
- Immediate skin to skin
- No washing of the vernix
- Skin to skin for all procedures possible
- Preservative free vitamin k
- Eye ointment delayed until bonding occurs
- I would like to take my placenta home. Please place in a sterile, close container.
- Baby is to stay with Mom at all time unless an emergency arises whereas Dad will accompany.
How we’ve prepared
- Doula
- Regular exercise
- Proper diet
- Self education
- Meditation
Language
It was very important to me to be taken seriously by the doctor and staff. From my experience, these guys can be a bit condescending or patronizing (my main doctor sure was). So I specifically used language in my birth plan that spoke to them directly and showed that I not only knew what I wanted but also what I was talking about.
‘Physiological’ is a term often only heard in the medical and scientific world.
phys·i·o·log·i·cal
ˌfizēəˈläjək(ə)l/Submit
adjective
relating to the branch of biology that deals with the normal functions of living organisms and their parts.
“physiological research on the causes of violent behavior”
relating to the way in which a living organism or bodily part functions.
“slow down your body’s physiological response to anger by breathing deeply”
Birth is 100% natural and not a medical emergency. Unfortunately, as a medical emergency is how we treat it these days. Interventions are most often not necessary, yet almost always present in today’s standard births.
I also made a point to let them know on my birth plan that I was doing my part to make this plan work. You can’t formulate a birth plan and then put it on the medical staff to make it happen. I approached it in an opposite way. I formulated a birth plan that I 100% expected myself and my support team (husband and doula) only to make happen. My birth plan was to let the staff know that I expected as little from them as possible.
My doctor literally read it and said, “this seems like you just want me to stand in a corner and not do anything!”
To which I replied, “exactly!”
She wasn’t happy with that and we butted heads the rest of my pregnancy and hospital stay but luckily, the other doctor in her practice was completely on board with everything I wanted. I saw the new one the whole last half of my pregnancy and lucked up to have her during my birth as well!
But anyway, that’s the whole point of the “How we’ve prepared” section.
Breakdown of the “Labor” section of the birth plan
Informed Consent in all things
Informed consent should be automatic as it’s your legal right to know what they’re doing to you. Often times it’s not. Stating on the birth plan that you expect it, reminds them and lets them know you expect it.
It’ll also help you keep control of what is happening to you and your baby. It’s all too easy for everyone to get swept away in medical procedures as the staff are simply use to the doing of things and for patients to simply let them.
No induction or labor progressing medications
I’ve read and heard testimonials that induction and medications make labor worse. This is because they block oxytocin levels which is your body’s natural defense against pain and makes it endurable.
I dunno about you, but I like for my labors to be as smooth and manageable as possible. Plus, there’s this whole bonding thing with the hormones that I didn’t get with my son because of the drugs that I really wanted with my daughter, and got!
Drug free pain management techniques
(moving, birthing ball, massages, shower, etc)
Which brings me to my next bullet point on the birth plan, no pain killers or epidurals. When you interrupt those hormones, you interrupt a process that most don’t know about or consider.
When my son was born, people kept asking me, “Did you ever think you could love something so much?!”
My response was, “No.” Not an enthusiastic ‘no’. Just a ‘this is what I’m suppose to say “no”’. The truth was, I didn’t feel like I loved him. I didn’t feel bonded to him. He didn’t even feel like mine.
I felt like a terrible mom because I was suppose to have this incredible love at first sight experience and instead it was just a dull, “here’s your baby” disconnect.
I did take care of him, but it was at least a couple of months before I truely felt like his mom or that undying love for him. My daughter, however, was immediate attachment. The moment she was born I had this overwhelming “This is MINE” feeling. I’ve been awestruck by her. Unable to take my eyes off of her.
The difference? An epidural. I had one with my son, (I’ve talked to other epidural moms that had similar experiences) with my daughter it was 100% natural.
I totally get the epidural thing. Natural childbirth is HARD. But after experiencing the side effects of both, I would go natural every time. No matter how bad it sucks. For this bonding reason alone.
Epidurals also slow labor down which can lead to a cascade of interventions and increase your chances of c-section (which was my #1 fear).
My biggest advice on this one: stay at home as long as possible. I KNEW I wanted a natural birth with all of my being and by the time transition hit, I was begging for the epidural. And trust me, once you ask, they oblige. I would have ended up with another epidural and along with it, another disappointment, had she not come as quickly as she had upon arriving at the hospital.
Quiet, dimly lit room/ Move about freely
For labor to progress easily, mom has to be comfortable. This is why, often times, labor stalls out once you make it to the hospital (This happened with my son). Keeping the room intimate helps this from happening.
Plus, darkness releases some sort of hormones (I forget which but I feel like oxytocin is the correct answer since oxytocin helps progress labor even though melatonin is the darkness hormone, I dunno) that helps labor continue.
Not being able to move around because you’re strapped to a bed can increase discomfort and chances of getting the drugs and with it, interventions.
Intermittent monitoring
Interventions went up when constant monitoring became a thing. Labor is stressful. For both mom and baby. That makes the baby’s heart rate do things. I mean, wouldn’t you be stressed out if you were in a closed compartment being squashed?
Intermittent monitoring means different things to different doctors. Be sure to ask what it means to yours. The doctor I didn’t get along with said 40 minutes on the monitor, 20 minutes off. The doctor I did get along with said that as long as everything was going fine, she was cool with 10-15 minutes on every hour.
This also gives you more freedom to move around. Some hospitals provide wireless monitors now. Mine, like most, still have to strap you up with a bunch of wires and (the kicker) you have to stay still to get a read. It’s really hard to stay still during labor. They had a nurse for me during my daughter’s birth whose only job was to stand there with the monitor on my belly while I rolled around on the bed. Sorry not sorry. Haha
Limited cervix checks
Checking how far you’ve dilated and what your cervix is doing doesn’t tell you how much longer labor is going to be. It only tells you where exactly you are in that very moment. You can go from not a lot to everything in a very short amount of time or you can go from almost there to stalled out.
I tried to explain this to my first doctor who scoffed at me (literally). Only to prove it when I got into labor. When I arrived at the hospital, I was 5 centimeters dialated. She was in my arms about 45 minutes later. It shocked everyone except for my doula and I.
Also, if your water has broken, every check introduces a risk of infection. No bueno.
Allow water to break naturally
Which brings me to my next point, your waters provide a cushion during labor. They protect the baby from being squashed for as long as possible and also protect against infection. They’re good! And there for a reason! Leave them be!
It’s also considered good luck for baby to be born in the caul, which means with the sac and waters still in tact. My doula said my daughter was and that filled my heart with happiness! My little mermaid baby!
Back in the day, they would take the umbilical cords of these babies, dry them and sell them to sailors as a good luck token. How cool is that?!
Stay hydrated and energized with clear liquids and lite snacks
My first doctor tried to scare me with this one. She told me that she, personally, had seen someone almost die because they had eaten a single french fry and aspirated it.
You’re more likely to be struck by lightening than victim of aspiration. Just so you know.
Not letting you eat or drink is an outdated practice they enforce just in case you have to be put under anesthesia. Something that’s incredibly unlikely to happen in relation to childbirth. Studies have shown it’s probably beneficial to eat and drink during labor as to keep your energy up.
Honestly, you probably won’t want to eat. But thirst is serious.
No IV or saline lock
Fluids can keep you hydrated which is great, but it can also cause swelling in you and baby. This extra water retention can cause false birth weights which makes the baby seem to have lost more than they actually did after birth. This can lead to doctors fearing something is wrong with baby.
I think this may have happened with my son.
My main reasons for not wanting this, though (besides just not wanting to be tied down to the bed) was due to the fact that an IV makes it easier for them to give you drugs without your knowledge.
Putting it in those terms sounds horrible. They shouldn’t be able to just give you drugs without your permission. But it happens. A lot.
If they have to stick you every time they need to give you something, it gives you time to notice, react and ask questions.
I was GBS positive with both of my babies. With my son, there was simply the generic IV with antibiotics but with my daughter, my doctor (the good one) had agreed to take the IV out after the antibiotics had been given.
We ended up not having time for them, though, since she came so quickly.
Break down of the “Birth” section of the birth plan
Mom chooses birthing position
You’re more likely to tear in the traditional back lying position. This position was adopted souly for the convieniency it provides for the doctors. Most women, if given the choice, find that they would rather lie on their side or be up on all fours.
Delay cord clamping until it is white, limp and no longer pulsing
A third of the baby’s blood remains in the placenta until after birth. Once the baby is born and takes his/her first breath, the placenta begins to transfer the blood to the baby. When this transfer is complete, the cord becomes white and limp.
Could you imagine going through the stress of labor and delivery, landing in a brand new world where you have to learn to live on your own, breathing and regulating all of these new bodily functions for the first time with only a fraction of your blood?
I dunno about you but after I donate blood, I’m useless for the rest of the day. Baby needs all their strength, which means all of their blood!
No episiotomy
The fact of the matter is, you don’t know if you need an episiotomy until it’s too late. Many doctors automatically do one, no matter what. The clean cut makes it easier for them to stitch up.
Most natural tears though, heal better and easier. Which brings us to another act of conveniencey for doctors.
Check out Prenatal Yoga to keep your energy and stamina up for labor!
No perineum massage, warm compress may be substituted
My first doctor freaked out about this one also, citing fears of infection. My second doctor said it was standard practice. I keep telling you about the differences between these two doctors to show you how this medical system works and encourage you to advocate for yourself. Most of what they tell you is “allowed” or “not allowed” is simply their own preference they’re trying to enforce upon you.
Of course, always do your own research on things and make sure they come from reliable sources (Evidence Based Birth is a WONDERFUL resource for all of your needs). The more you know to be fact when speaking with them, the more control you have over the situation. Don’t let them manipulate you.
Perineum massage during labor hasn’t shown to reduce risk of tearing. I can’t remember if there was something else to go along with this point or not but I do remember a warm compress does help. Which makes sense since moist tissue can stretch more easily.
No vacuum or forceps
I’ve heard horror stories surrounding these tools. Not only online, but I know several people in real life as well that have suffered injuries and emotional trauma from them. I’ll leave it at that and let you do your own research and deciding since I’m bias and very anti fear mongering.
Intuitive led pushing
Those who have the easiest labors are those who aren’t allowed to push (people with certain conditions). That’s because we really don’t have to. Our uterus does all of the work and will without any help from us. Someone in a coma can give birth because their body knows what to do and does it.
My goal was to not push but I thought instead of telling the doctor that and just saying I wanted no coaching would get more support. I didn’t feel like having to explain myself on every little point.
I felt as though I didn’t have to push with my daughter (I had an epidural with my son so who knows there). As I began to feel constant pressure, they told me not to push because they didn’t know if I was at ten centimeters yet, but there was no stopping it. My body was doing it without me. I did push a little just because I felt like I should help but she was born with very little help from me in a matter of less than five minutes from the moment I told them I felt pressure.
Either way, I personally feel like coached pushing doesn’t make much sense. How can someone else know what your body is trying to tell you to do? Of course, my doula and the nurses were coaching me during it on how to breathe. That, I must admit, WAS helpful.
Breakdown of the “Postpartum” Birth Plan Section
Immediate skin to skin
Skin to skin contact gets all sorts of gears running after birth. Things such as initiating breastfeeding and delivery of the placenta.
No washing of the vernix
The vernix (the cottage cheese looking stuff all over baby) is there to protect the baby’s skin and is full of all sorts of good things. Think of it as lotion and rub it in, not off. Of course, neither of my children had any left since they were both overdue.
Skin to skin for all procedures possible
This pretty well goes with the immediate skin to skin point. If separation of mother and baby aren’t absolutely necessary, leave us alone. We need to bond and feed. We’re not meant to be separated.
Preservative free vitamin k
Vitamin k helps blood clot. After doing research, I found more pros than cons and didn’t feel it was worth the fight to opt out of it.
Eye ointment delayed until bonding occurs
If mom doesn’t have any STDs, there’s not really much point in the eye ointment. It’s standard practice though and they get irritable and honary if you try to opt out of these things so I also didn’t feel as though this was worth the fight.
Getting what you want is sometimes about compromises but always do your own research on things and if the fight is worth it to you, fight on warrior mama!
I would like to take my placenta home. Please place in a sterile, close container.
I had my placenta encapsulated. Post about it to come soon.
Baby is to stay with Mom at all times unless an emergency arises whereas Dad will accompany.
I’m very distrusting and was afraid they would do something to my baby while I wasn’t looking that I didn’t want done. Like vaccines or microchips or something. I dunno. She only left our sight one time and it was with a trusted nurse for about five minutes to be seen by the pediatrician. I actually still regret allowing it. For no particular reason.
All in all, I had the magnificent birth with my daughter I was wanting. I was pretty distracted when we got to the hospital but I remember the staff asking if we had a birth plan. My husband dug it out of the bag and gave it to them and they automatically followed it and honored everything on it.
Of course my doctor had already approved it all. Always talk to yours and find out what they allow and what they don’t. Be sure you advocate for yourself though! My first doctor disproved of almost everything on my birth plan, telling me the hospital didn’t allow most of it. My second doctor, who was at the SAME practice and the SAME hospital, was completely on board with all of it.
You can ALWAYS ask for a new doctor or explore your options. They work for YOU, mama.
Best vibes always,
S.S.Blake
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Author
S.S.Blake; Spiritual Life Coach, Yoga + Meditation Teacher and Founder of Earth and Water
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