Sacred Masculinity; How to Support New Dads With Mindful Intentions ⋆ Earth and Water

The concept of the sacred masculine, often associated with strength, courage, and leadership, has been a cornerstone of human societies for millennia. Embodied in archetypes like the warrior, the protector, and the wise elder, the sacred masculine has traditionally provided a framework for men to understand their place in the world and their responsibilities towards their families and communities.

However, in modern society, the sacred masculine is facing a crisis of identity. Traditional male role models, often characterized by stoicism and emotional suppression, are increasingly seen as inadequate and outdated. The absence of clear and positive role models for new dads, in particular, is a growing concern, leaving many men feeling lost and uncertain about how to navigate the challenges of fatherhood.

The lack of sacred masculine role models for new dads stems from several complex factors. The decline of traditional family structures, the changing roles of men and women in society, and the pervasive influence of media portrayals of masculinity have all contributed to a blurred understanding of what it means to be a man and a father.

Moreover, the pressure to conform to a narrow definition of masculinity has historically led many men to suppress their emotions, prioritize their careers over their families, and shy away from actively participating in the caregiving aspects of fatherhood. This has created a void for new dads who are seeking to be more involved than their predecessors were, leaving them without the guidance and support they need to navigate the complexities of fatherhood.

To address this sacred masculinity crisis, we need to redefine what it means to be a man in the 21st century. This redefinition must encompass the traditional virtues of strength, courage, and leadership, while also embracing the softer, more nurturing aspects of masculinity, such as empathy, compassion, and emotional intelligence.

New dads need to see positive role models who embody this evolved definition of masculinity. These role models should demonstrate how to be present fathers, actively involved in the care and nurturing of their children. They should also show how to express emotions healthily, build strong relationships, and contribute positively to their families and communities.

In addition to redefining and revaluing the sacred masculine, we also need to create a more supportive environment for new dads. This means providing access to resources, such as parenting classes and support groups, that can help them navigate the challenges of fatherhood. It also means fostering a culture that values men’s involvement in their children’s lives and applauds their efforts to be present and nurturing fathers.

Revitalizing the sacred masculine and providing positive role models for new dads is not just a matter of personal well-being; it is also a matter of societal well-being. When men are able to embody a healthy and evolved version of masculinity, they become more fulfilling partners, more engaged fathers, and more positive contributors to society.

By addressing the crisis of sacred masculinity and nurturing positive role models for new dads, we can create a society where men are empowered to be the best versions of themselves, both for their families and for the world.

I have a lot of strong feelings and opinions about early parenthood and how it’s addressed in our modern culture and society. The family unit is the essence of society and we do ourselves a grand injustice by not prioritizing the needs of family’s in the trenches of child rearing.

When the family unit thrives, the future is secured for us all.

This led me to spending a couple of years as a birth doula. Maybe one day I’ll find myself aligning with that sort of work again. Until then, I’m happy to talk to and support those on the front lines fighting for the rights of our children, babies and parents.

So that’s what we’re doing today. Hanging out with David Arrell, host of the Baby Talk podcast and Author of WTF Welcome to Fatherhood (af).

Show Notes:

Beginning – 8:00

Introductions. The challenges of parenthood.

8:00 – 12:30

Who do men have to look up to as good fatherly role models? Toxic masculinity vs sacred masculinity.

12:30 – 20:05

Dad tips. Miscarriage is briefly discussed. The cultural conveyor belt and how medical staff can be de-synthesized to the sensitive nature of birth. Fear tactics and outdated practices. Being your own advocate.

20:05 – 38:45

Dude-zone, Dad-zone, Dud-zone: David’s best tips for new dads. The dad instinct. We’ve spent centuries dis-inviting dads from the birth space and child rearing which leaves then currently lost and unsure. So it’s unfair for us to expect them to automatically know what to do.

Men connect and bond through play.

The struggles men encounter with making prenatal appointments.

38:45 – 54:45

The common roll of men as the protector in the birth setting and how that can be unfair as well. Hiring a birth team you can trust and who understand and agree with your wishes can take the pressure off of dad during the main event.

54:45 – End

For the new parents!

Grab his book! WTF Welcome to Fatherhood (af)

Join him the 3rd Thursday every month for a live workshop!

About David Arrell

David Arrell is an Author, Entrepreneur, Consultant, and Coach currently living in Fairfax, VA. He is passionate about coaching men on how to more fully embrace and embody healthy masculinity, especially through the powerful modalities of partnership and parenting. His most recent work in this area is the book Welcome To Fatherhood: The Modern Man’s Guide to Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Fatherhood, better known as WTF.