How to Avoid “Holiday Drama” and Keep Your Peace ⋆ Earth and Water

The 4th of July use to be my favorite holiday. Minimal gatherings, no gift obligations and explosives gave you something to do that wasn’t talking to people. Boy do I have some stories involving fireworks. And best of all, no holiday drama. “The” holidays, I dreaded.

They were a source of stress and anxiety for me. I have a HUGE family with 5-6 different branches. We run around nonstop for 2-3 days (at least) going to various parties without rest.

My social anxiety left me frazzled and my idealistic views on the world left me at odds with others. For most of my life I didn’t speak, and when I did, it often got me in trouble.

The holidays are suppose to be packed with family, friends, food and joy. For some of us though, they can be packed with stress, anxiety and sometimes anger. Holiday drama presents itself for many reasons, including but not limited to:

Children
Multiple gatherings
Lifestyle differences
Opinion and belief differences
Immaturity

Whatever the reason conflict may arise, it’s almost always present at these things (I mean, it’s the plot to most holiday movies). There’s a few simple things you can do, though, to not be a part of it. You can remain serene and joyful no matter what is going on around you. Know that to be true.

Don’t Subscribe to The Holiday Drama

First and foremost, know that you can not control the actions of others. Only your own. Everyone is meant to walk their own path just as you are. Expect nothing from others and just as you would want your own personal decisions to be respected, make a point to respect their’s.

You can’t change anyone’s opinion or belief until they’re open to other possibilities and you shouldn’t waste everyone’s time, energy and patience trying. If we’re secure in our ways and beliefs, we don’t need any one else’s approval, understanding or conform-ment. You don’t need them to walk your path with you. Keep your mind open to their views and ways. You may learn something.

We don’t have to subscribe to the belief that everyone needs to see things and do things the way we do. We don’t have to subscribe to other’s negativity or to our own anger, unease, anxiety or whatever.

Allow things to be what they are. Allow others to be who they are. When we’re secure and confident in ourselves, other’s decision’s don’t matter.

If someone gives you the gift of holiday drama, you don’t have to accept it.

Meditate Beforehand

We all have that one relative that gets under our skin. We all have triggers that cause us stress and anxiety. Before entering these situations that may cause us strife, focus on how you want things to go.

Meditate on the event. Visualize it going well. Close your eyes, breathe deeply and paint a picture in your mind’s eye

How do you want to feel?
How do you want your interactions to go?
What kind of vibes do you want to radiate to others?
What sort of vibes do you want to receive?
Embody the feeling of ease and flow.

We get that which we focus on. If we think “This is going to be a terrible experience full of holiday drama” then that’s exactly what we’re going to get. If we go in with the mindset “Whatever happens is going to be great and exactly what needs to happen” then all will be well.

Try some affirmations before and during:

I am calm
I am grounded
I am at peace
I am confident
I am secure
Everything comes to me as it should
My interactions are positive
I am open to listen and learn
I have my own path and other’s have theirs

You can also visualize a protective bubble around you to protect you from any negative vibrations.

Practice Gratitude Trains

Momentum flows where attention goes. When you find yourself stressing or becoming angry, redirect the momentum of that. Stop the negative thoughts and feelings in their tracks and switch their polarity.

Start with gratitude and let it carry you away. Look around and find something you can be thankful for. Your kids? Particular family members? The weather? Food? State it in your head. Then move onto another. Then another.

This may look something like, “I’m really thankful it’s not too hot today. I sure do love my kids. I’m glad they’re having a good time. This food is delicious. I’m so thankful there’s plenty for everyone. That wall is a very pleasant color. I like that wall. Look at those beautiful trees. I sure am glad lawn mowing season is taking a break. I love my sweater. I feel so cozy in it.”

Whatever whatever. It doesn’t matter what you’re finding pleasantries in. It only matters that you are and the momentum is carrying you in a positive direction. Doesn’t that feel so much better than the negatives? We literally can’t be angry, stressed, upset or whatever when we’re practicing this gratitude train. Choo Choo

Take Breaks From the Holiday Drama

When in doubt, know that it’s ok to walk away. I get sensory overload super easily and sometimes what I need the most is some fresh air and peace and quiet. Step outside for a moment. Go to the bathroom and catch your breath, say some affirmations. Find an unoccupied room and chill for a minute.

If everyone’s in the kitchen, move to the living room. Whatever you need to do to get away for a minute. You’ll feel much better afterwards. Give yourself permission to create space when you’re feeling some type’a way.

When you feel yourself becoming on edge, excuse yourself. You don’t have to explain. Know that there is always always always time and space for you to take a minute.

If you have any tips or tricks that help you with keeping the peace during holidays, drop them in the comments for us!

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