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Happiness

Simple 2 Step Formula to Finding Happiness Now

Simple 2 Step Formula to Finding Happiness Now

Being happy is our natural state. We want to be happy. Every aspect of our being wants to be happy.

Some of us just lose sight of how to find our happiness. Either through our childhood somewhere or later on when we start adulting, something happens to us or a series of somethings that teaches us to be unhappy.

We fall into this state of being unhappy and forget how to get out of it. We get stuck.

The good news is, you can fix it. You can get unstuck. Naturally, with a little bit of work and without medication, prescribed or otherwise, you can train yourself to be blissfully happy again.

Step 1. Find the problem.

If you’re not happy, there’s probably a reason. Whether that reason be apparent or not. Whether it be that you hate your job or that your dad was abusive when you were growing up. The reasons can vary as far and as wide as you can imagine.

If you don’t know the reason, that’s ok. We’ll figure it out together.

I’ve narrowed down the main areas of happiness:

  • Work Life
  • Relationships
  • Personal

Generally, the source of unhappiness comes from one of these three categories.

Work Life

Most employed people aren’t happy with the jobs they have chosen for themselves. This is generally because people rate a job on how good it is depending on the amount of money it comes a long with and the quality of benefits it provides.

Money and benefits are important, but not at all more important than your happiness and well being. People get too focused on the money and benefits and become completely blind to the other aspects like fulfillment and purpose.

When you have a career doing something you don’t enjoy for 30+ years, it’ll easily make for a miserable life. Aside from being a breeding ground for depression, living your life hating every second of your job, forcing yourself to get up every morning and drag yourself in will cause stress and in turn, health problems.

Doing something on a daily basis that you loathe is against your nature. It goes against your entire being. We are meant to thrive and soar through life, happy as a clam. Ask yourself:

  • Does my job offer me fulfillment?
  • Do I enjoy my work?
  • Am I excited to get up in the morning and go to work?
  • Does my job allow me the freedom to express myself as I would like?
  • Does it allow me the freedom to do the things I want to do?
  • Is it a humanity plus job? Meaning does it’s existence help the world and those in it or harm them (humanity minus)?
  • Is my work meaningful?

We get stuck in the linear model of what we’ve been told that we’re suppose to do:

Go to school » Get into a good college » Get a degree » Get a job with said degree » Specialize » Yatta Yatta

There are so many things wrong with this model, though.

If there’s something in particular that you’re really interested in that has a degree and a job that you can get with said degree then great! But this path is NOT a one size fits all and there are a lot of people that this path just doesn’t work for. And yet, they follow it anyway. Because that’s what they’ve been told they should do.

I can get really passionate about this subject, so I’ll try to keep it on point. Don’t settle for something that you don’t enjoy simply because it’s what you’ve been taught you should do.

I did and it was the biggest waste of time and money I have ever spent. And you definitely don’t have to go to college if it’s not for you. You can totally and completely be successful without it.

Do what you WANT. Study what you LOVE. Chase the job you CRAVE. And don’t settle for less.

Settling is not only an injustice to yourself, it’s an injustice to those in your life. The ones you work for who deserve someone who cares to do the job excellently. The ones you love that have to deal with your unhappiness.

When you love what you do, you’re happier. When you’re happier, you make everyone around you happier because you are a joy to be around.

You don’t have to settle for mediocre. You deserve greatness!

Relationships

We all need people in our lives. People to love and love us in return.

Unfortunately, a lot of people’s unhappiness comes from those around them. They find themselves struggling in a romantic relationship or they find their friends and family bringing them down instead of lifting them up.

We should only be in relationships that benefit us. I know this can be difficult sometimes. Especially when the person bringing you down is a relative (trust me, I get it). But you can’t allow their destructive ways to effect you also.

You should be concerned with taking care of YOU first. You deserve to be lifted up in every aspect of your natural greatness. You deserve people in your life who have your best interest at heart.

If you have people in your life who try to make you feel bad, criticize you and talk down to you or simply bring down your vibes, you need to protect yourself from them.

I’m not saying completely drop them from your life (though in some cases this may be acceptable and wise). But learn how to protect yourself from them.

  • Minimize contact
  • Talk to them about how they make you feel
  • Put up a wall between them and your emotions

When you are happier and better taken care of, you can better take care of others and do what needs to be done.

100 Things to stop denying yourself for abundance manifesting

Don’t rely on others to make you happy. Make yourself happy. It’s ok to lean on someone from time to time when things get hard but only lean and never climb into their lap (figuratively).

Always keep both of your feet on the ground because most people will drop you if you lean too much.

It’s a wonderful feeling to have good relationships with folks. Never give up on the relationships you feel are worth the effort. If you’re having problems in a worthwhile relationship, look into fixing it:

  • Show them how much you care. Often.
  • Make them happy, laugh and smile.
  • Lift them up and encourage them to be great.
  • Make them feel special.
  • Listen to them and consider their point of view.
  • See the best in them and point it out.
  • Accept them as who they are and where they are in life.
  • Understand you can only help those who want to be helped.
  • Don’t stress yourself out trying to make them see change.
  • Meet them on their level.
  • Try to take interest in something they’re interested in.
  • Compromise.

Avoid toxic relationships like the plague. If you have exhausted all of your efforts and are still being drug down by someone, loosen their hold on you until (if plausible) you can sever the hold all together.

Don’t let people push you over or hold you back. Stand up for yourself and chase your happiness.

Personal

If you love your job and your relationships are great or either of these things just aren’t an issue, you probably have something you need to work on personally.

We tend to sabotage ourselves and our lives. We stand in the way of our own happiness and success in life.

Through the years we’ve learned mindsets and beliefs that we feel are universal truths because that’s what we’ve seen in life. We forget that no two situations or circumstances are the same. Which means universal truths in mindsets and beliefs don’t actually exist.

Just because you were cheated on twice doesn’t mean you’ll never have a wonderful, loyal relationship. Just because you come from a long family history of addicts doesn’t mean that’s your inevitable fate.

Simply because you weren’t born into a well off family doesn’t mean you have to settle for lower or middle class for the rest of your life.

You can change your mindset, beliefs and truths to be whatever you wish for them to be. If you want to be a famous millionaire poet in a wonderful loving relationship whose only addiction is certain television shows then that’s what you should be.

The only thing standing in your way is your mindset and belief systems.

Ask yourself:

  • Am I happy with myself?
  • Do I love myself exactly as I am?
  • Am I where I want to be in life?
  • Do I know my purpose in life?
  • Do I feel whole or as if something is missing?
  • Do I have all of my needs met?
  • Do I have all of my wants met?
  • What can I do to fix things?
  • Am I afraid of what I want?
  • Am I confident in every aspect of my life?
  • Do I know my worth?

You are what you believe you are. This means if you accept that you just aren’t happy, you will always be stuck in this state. If you believe that you can be happy again, you will be. If you believe you can be confident, you will be. If you believe you can have everything in life that you want, you’ll find a way to do that.

There are so many aspects that make us who we are. We are incredibly complex individuals, after all. You’re the only one standing in your way of everything you want. Happiness included.

You have the power to choose who you want to be. You have the power to choose to make the changes required to do great things. You have the power to help yourself thrive in life and accomplish all that you dream of.

Step 2: Make Some Changes

Once you figure out the core cause of your happiness you have to ask yourself:

  • What can I do to make it better?
  • What are some things I can do to help my situation?
  • What changes can I make to lessen the toll these things take on me?

If the situation is completely out of your control then you have to take another approach:

  • How can I learn to be ok with this the way it is?
  • How can I accept things as they are?

It helps me to focus on helping the things and aspects I can help. For example, it kills me to see litter and pollution. I can not clean the whole world, but I can make an effort to pick up what I see on a regular basis and cut what waste I can in my own life.

As far as people go: It helps to remember that people can only be helped if they want to help themselves. And everyone creates their own reality.

This means that most people bring bad situations on themselves. All you can do is your best to create the best reality you can for yourself. Lead by example and you will inspire others to do so as well.

I also consistently tell myself that everything happens when and how it is suppose to happen. The bad things only happen in order to teach us something. Look at bad situations from all angles and find what it is trying to teach you.

Take comfort in knowing you’ve done your best.

If you need some extra help, look into working with me.

Best Vibes Always,

S.S.Blake

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Savannah Shea Blake Profile picture

S.S.Blake; Spiritual Life Coach, Yoga + Meditation Teacher and Founder of Earth and Water

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